The Batmen Around Us: Five Real World Choices For Batman

For better or worse, Ben Affleck, one of Hollywood’s most divisive members is set to play the caped crusader in the upcoming Superman/Batman crossover film, directed by Man of Steel’s Zach Snyder.

Whether or not Affleck could play Batman, could he actually BE Batman? Probably not, but we at Scholar Hero thought critically about the real life people that could. Our criteria was simple: Batman should be:

  • healthy

  • wealthy

  • wise

  • and possibly insane.

Here are our five could-be choices for the real-life Batman:

Dustin Moskovitz

What else is there to do when you’re a young, handsome, tech-savvy billionaire? The Harvard dropout earned his fortune as one of the co-founders of Facebook. When he’s not developing new technology and helping charities, our guess is that he’s checking the Walls on the BatCave.

Keanu Reeves

Reeves’ life has been plagued with many personal misfortunes that might drive anyone to half-crazed heroics. He is also one of the most private celebrities in Hollywood. His life is relatively unassuming compared to  Bruce Wayne’s, but that just makes for a better cover. Lastly, as we all know, “he knows kung fu.”

Dolph Lundgren

Dolph Lundgren might be an aging 80’s action star, but the recent Expendables movie shows us that the Swedish-American bodybuilder still has the skills and the fitness to lay down a serious beating. Does he have the intelligence to be Batman? Lundgren holds a master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and he’s a member of MENSA. Seriously.

Will Smith

Could Will Smith go from Fresh Prince to Caped Crusader? While he did not attend college, he was admitted into an MIT pre-engineering program, and people would be hard-pressed to call him unintelligent. He may not be crazy enough to be Batman, but one could speculate after this interview.

Christian Bale

Bale is one of the finest method actors of our time. In order to prepare for the role, Bale somehow… became Batman. He put on pounds of muscle and went through intense training to learn his combat skills. Moreover, he is known for his sudden, violent tirades. He is fit, wealthy, and crazy, and he also knows exactly what it’s like to be Batman.

Who is our choice? Now that Affleck is taking the cape and cowl in front of the camera, we suspect this could all be a cover for Bale to assuming his duties full-time.

Unless Joseph Gordon-Levitt has something to say about it.

Nathan Repp is a writer for Scholar Hero, Inc.

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